The Wedding Invitation Hosts – Etiquette guide part 2

In the first article in this series we looked at the etiquette of wedding invitation wording from a general viewpoint.  In this section we will explore the different styles of wording in more detail and the sections that make up a wedding invite.

Different Styles of Wording

There are two main styles to the traditional wedding invitation.  The first leaves room for the guests ‘ name to be hand written in the top left hand corner of the invitation as follows :

A more common alternative is to the add the guest’s name on a dotted line, as follows :

Divorced, Separated or Widowed Parents
In the case of divorced or separated parents, whether the mother has not remaried, the wording is :

Mr John Smith and Mrs Anne Smith.

If the mother has remarried her new married name is used:

Mr John Smith and Mrs Peter Jones

A widow (in contrast to divorcee) continues to use her husband’s Christian name.  Where only one parent is hosting the wedding, the bride is described as his or her daughter.  This also applies where a divorced or widowed parent has remarried and the wedding is being hosted by a parent or step-parent.

Other Hosts
If the host is not the parent of the bride, their relationship and her full name should be given, thus:

Mr and Mrs John Smith
request the pleasure of
your company at the marriage
of their niece
Miss Katherine Wright

If bride and groom are hosts the wording would be:

Miss Katherine Wright and
Mr Nicholas Gillingham
request the pleasure of your company
at their marriage
at St Mary’s Church, Ampney Crucis…

In both these cases the Mr or Miss may be dropped from the names of bride and groom for a less formal effect.

Service and Reception in same location
How do you explain to guests that they are expected to stay on for dinner and dancing in the evening? You do not want half your guests to drive off at six if you have laid on marquee, band and caterers! In situations where the same guests are coming to both the afternoon reception and the evening party, and you do want to have to print a separate invitation, we suggest this solution :

                                 and afterwards at
                                        Field Barn

R.S.V.P.
Field Barn                               Dinner and Dancing
Ampney Crucis                                          8 o’clock
Gloucestershire GL7 5PY            Carriages 12.30

In the case of civil ceremonies in licenced venues, also hosting the reception, we suggest :

to
Mr Nicholas Gillingham
at Tutbury Castle, Tutbury, Staffordshire
on Saturday, 25th October, 2008
at 12 noon
and afterwards for a Reception

Services of Blessing
The common wording is :

Mr and Mrs James Wright
request the pleasure of your company
at a Service of Blessing following the marriage
of their daughter
Katherine

Grooms’ Names
Whether or not all the Christian names are used is a matter of personal preference; they are not all strictly neccesary, and one might wonder whether the appearance of ‘Archibald Hannibal Lascelles’ in the middle of a name is going to be informative or help the guests identify the groom. Mr is normally used but may be omitted if prefered.
If the groom is foreign it is normal to spell out the full title in the foreign language, for example Monsieur Marcel Dupont.

In the next instalment of this series on wedding invitation etiquette we will look at Titles and Decorations and Punctuation